"The Sound of Dripping Water from the Ceiling"

I just... no... no, no, no…

The sound of a scream
The sound of the wind

I woke up again in this forest... I still can't call it a land... Suddenly, I noticed the sound of the wind. There was never wind here before... Heh! New features are being added to this place, but... it seems like I have no control over it. I had asked before to touch it, to reach it a little... but no... even I didn’t get to the end of it. Now, I was truly awake. I found myself in my room, having just gotten out of bed. It felt like something more than a simple disorder. The light is still behind the darkness... waiting to rise. I started the notes again. I wrote about everything that had happened... about all the new questions in my mind... about everything that’s been coming to me... Madness still continues. Still unfamiliar... still alluring... Defeated? I've been digging my own grave for a long time. Still, they invest in the fact that I'm young... Maybe... no... they can’t be that harsh! They'll show mercy like always. Forget it... My eyes fell on the small potted plant they brought me. They think it'll make me a bit kinder... I didn’t give them much of a response and don’t really like them... But this little one can’t pay for my mistreatment toward them. I had already prepared water for it earlier... I reached out and sat beside it. I just looked at it... It felt like I was actually doing something right for once. What a progress! I think a quick look at the night guard wouldn't hurt... I don’t see much seriousness in his work... So I have a free backyard to myself. When I stood up, I hid my notes, as always. When I reached the corridor, there was darkness again... loneliness again... fear? I need to be more cautious. As I reached the stairs, I could see the outside through the windows... There was no one there. As I descended the stairs, I paid attention to the railings. My hand brushed against an uneven spot. Someone had forcefully bent the railing... I don’t want to remember that day... Danger was too close. I didn’t look at it; I just passed by. My hand was the only one that felt it. Chains can never be tight enough. When I reached the bottom, I found myself in this horizon of the Abus garden... I can still see the cosmos. I can still hear it... Why? When I looked at the stars, I wondered... when? Time has slipped away from me... I think if I align the stars, I might be able to make it understand. I sat in the middle of my eternal circle... my favorite spot. My meditation still works. Goodbye, Ronya... Maybe I can describe the feeling of pride and the brightness in her eyes... The sun behind her gaze... the blue sea of her vision and the green forest. She wrote all the stories of the world... I’m not a good writer... nor a good lover... As always... I’m nothing. But hope... of course, hope... there’s nothing more sacred than life. Unlike others, I don’t hope for her return... it stays like a spirit in the body. Once it leaves... it never comes back. Eventually, they’ll realize that behind all this suffering... there’s no hero waiting for them. I stood up and wandered around the courtyard... I couldn’t find any trace of the night guard... That fool had abandoned his post again. It seemed like a scarecrow was hanging out there... I think it’s her. When I approached, I saw her, absent-minded, leaning his staff into the ground, using it as a support while she fell asleep. As I followed the profile of his face, I saw the scene she had been dreaming of. I saw the city... The shining city " RADIANT CITY " ... It could have a cute name... the light of the lamps shining in the eyes... it seemed like life was still flowing through it... though perhaps...